


You gotta know that this is real, baby why you wanna fight it?

by AWeekendInMay



Series: Soulmate!5sos [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Luke, Hurt Michael, M/M, Sad Luke, Sad Michael, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, soulmate touch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 11:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4785056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWeekendInMay/pseuds/AWeekendInMay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke's soulmate doesn't want him. How could he? When he could have anyone he wanted, why in the world would he want Luke? But it's getting harder for Luke to block his soulmate touch, and the boys are noticing the change in Luke. Luke can only old out so long before the damn breaks. But will he survive the flood?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kiss me quick before you go

There was a point in time, a couple days after they had played their very first gig together, that the boys had dreamed of touring the world. It was one of those wild and out of reach dreams. The ones you only shared in the darkness of the night. The ones that seemed too untouchable to even dare to think about them in the daylight. But some dreams are more touchable than we think.

They had just finished their first world tour. They had headlined their own tour, playing stadiums full of the fans who had got them to where they are now. And now they were back where it all started.

Sydney was the same. The same streets they had traveled down, the same familiar faces, the same houses they had grown up in. The only thing that was different was them. They were older now, more mature, had experienced more life than the wide eyed teenagers they had been when they left Sydney. They were shaped by all the places they had been, had left little pieces of themselves in every city and every crowd of screaming fans. 

Sydney was still home, it always would be. But Luke couldn’t help feel like things were different now. They were all sitting in a circle in Michael’s granny flat. Ashton had demanded they have a sleepover for old times sake. Luke look around the circle, watching his friend. A smile tipped up the sides of his mouth as he watched them. Sure, they were different now. But when they were all together like this, not worried about the next interview or promotion or show, he could still see bits and pieces of the old them. Could still see giggly Ashton in his horrid purple shirt hiding in Ash’s dimples when he laughed. Could still see gangly fifteen year old Calum ready to give up his footie career for three losers he couldn’t imagine spending a day without. Could still see Michael with his douchey fringe ready to take on the world and the way Michael’s green eyes shone in the low light just like they did the night they had uploaded their first cover. 

In moments like these, Luke longed to go back. Back to when they were still an unknown little garage band. Back to when it was just them against the world. It’s not like Luke hated being famous. He loved their fans more than anything, would never be able to repay them for helping his dreams come true. But Luke missed the simplicity of it, back before everything had changed. Back before he knew the truth.

They all had soulmates now. Ashton was happy. His soulmate would be joining them in Sydney soon. Calum was in a constant state of bliss, just having met his soulmate only a few weeks ago. This was the first time they had been away from each other for more than a few hours and her flight would land in the morning. Michael was happy, seemingly okay with fucking with his soulmate for now. Michael had never been big on commitment, it scared him. So of course he was happy with how things were working out. And Luke… Luke was trying. He really was. But the strain of almost constantly blocking his soulmate was really starting to get to him.

He didn’t tell the boys, couldn’t tell the boys, but he was getting sick. He was throwing up his food more often than not, a constant headache throbbed low in the base of his skull, and he had gotten more nose bleeds than he could count. But he didn’t want them to worry. So he kept quiet, let them stay in their little bubbles of happiness. And they didn’t notice. 

They were all drinking, Ash and Calum already trashed and Michael getting there quickly. Luke had been careful, only having a few so that he could keep up the block. It was important, especially tonight, especially here. 

As he watched Ashton and Calum cuddling on the couch, and Michael struggling to shove himself into the little amount of space they had left, Luke felt another nosebleed coming on. He got up and made his way quickly to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and shoved tissues under his nose, leaning forward over the skin and pinching his nose to stop the blood. But there was a lot of blood this time, and Luke was getting a little dizzy. There was a knock on the door before it opened and Michael came into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. 

“You okay Lukey? Oh god you’re bleeding here let me help.” 

Michael moved towards Luke, and Luke stumbled backwards, gripping the edge of the counter before he lost his balance. He was too dizzy, too vulnerable right now, the bathroom too small to fit both of them comfortable. Michael was too close, his warmth radiating off of him and smelling like cheap beer, peppermint and Michael. 

“I got it Michael.” Luke spat out and Michael physically flinched.

“What’s going on with you Luke? You look like shit and you’ve been acting really weird lately, ever since that night I got drunk and you took care of me the next morning. Did I do something wrong?”

Luke shook his head but Michael gently gripped his chin, turning Luke’s head to look at him. “You’re a terrible liar Hemmo, I know you too well. Something is wrong.”

As Michael spoke he slowly pulled the tissues away from Luke’s nose. Seeing that the bleeding had stopped, Michael wet some fresh tissues and slowly wiped away the rest of the blood that was smeared across Luke’s skin. His fingers skimmed over Luke’s lips and Luke’s mouth fell open a little on its own accord. 

The Michael was leaning forward, tilting his head to the side, green eyes locked on Luke’s mouth. Right before their lips touched, Luke panicked, moving as far away as he could in the tiny bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing Michael?! What are you thinking? You have a soulmate!” 

Michael snorted and moved closer to Luke once again “Please, my soulmate is more like a fuck buddy. Hell I don’t even know his name. And my hand just isn’t cutting it anymore.”

Luke’s chest started to ache as he put his hands on Michael’s shoulders and pushed him back. “You’re drunk Michael, you don’t mean that.”

“C’mon Luke, gimmie a kiss. Promise I’ll be good to you.”

Something in Luke broke and he pushed Michael back with all the strength he had left in him, sending Michael falling back against the door. He could hear Michael’s head smack against the door and his hand subconsciously went to the back of his own head as the pain radiated through his skull.

Michael stared up at him from against the door with tears in his pale green eyes and it dawned on Luke what he had just done. “Oh my god Mikey I’m so sorry I…” Tears spilled over his own eyes and Michael just looked at him. Luke’s hand dropped from the back of his head, now shaking.

Michael stood slowly, his eyes never leaving Luke’s he opened the bathroom door. He spoke slowly and evenly, “I don’t know what’s going on with you Luke, but when you’re ready to talk, ready to tell me the truth, then come find me.” 

Then Michael left, closing the bathroom door softly. And when the soft click of the door closing echoed through the room, Luke broke down.


	2. Cut Me Deep And Watch Me Bleed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize ahead of time

Luke could tell everyone was more than done with his shit. Even Calum, who was usually the most patient with Luke, was starting to get grumpy around Luke. The further Luke broke down, the harder it got to be around the boys. Luke knew that they only wanted to help, they just wanted him to tell them what was going on. But he couldn’t get any of them to understand that he just couldn’t tell them. They had shared every other secret, why not this one? Which is why Luke is currently under a triple attack by three very upset Aussies.

“Just fucking tell us Lucas, it’s not that fucking hard!” Calum yelled out gruffly.

Luke sighed, ducking his head into, teeth latching on to his lip roughly in hopes that the pain would help him hold back the tears. He could barely stand it when one of them was angry at him, now all three of them were and Luke couldn’t take it.

As Ashton made more exasperated comments about how Luke was over reacting, the shaking started in Luke’s palms. He could feel it start to creep outwards, to other parts of his body. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly trying to hold himself together. Luke started to shake his head vigorously as his body trembled. He felt Calum move towards him, a hard reached out.

“Lukey, hey Luke c’mon just take a breath mate.” Calum said calmly.

But a hand swatted Calum’s hand away before it could reach Luke’s shoulder and Luke tilted his head up to see a furious Michael Clifford staring back at him. Luke had never seen Michael this mad, it didn’t even look like Michael. His body was tense, his eyes a darker green than usual and his face a deadly calm.

“I swear to god Luke if you don’t pull your fucking shit together I am do, you hear me? Done! All of us lads have done nothing but be here for you. We’ve supported each other through every secret and problem we’ve ever had. There are no secrets between us. Ever. So grow the fuck up and get over yourself because this is getting ridiculous.”

Luke went to speak up but Michael cut him off with a harsh glare that sent Luke completely still. “No, don’t you fucking dare tell me again how we ‘just don’t understand’. Do you know how fucking whiny and dramatic you sound? You’re such an overdramatic brat. Get off your little high horse and cut us some slack here. Fucking hell Hemmings, I’m starting to remember why I hated your ass in the first place.”

And Luke broke.

The words were too much, especially coming from Michael. And the last bit of strength that Luke had left in his body dissipated with Michael’s words. Ashton and Calum could only watch in horror as it unfolded, Michael’s words seeming like a bad dream that hadn’t really just happened. They could do nothing to stop the disaster from happening.

Luke lept up from the couch, sobs racking his body, arms clutched tightly around himself and tripping over his own feet in his hasty retreat.

And Michael, Michael watched Luke crumble, too numb from the anger to realize what had happened until Luke was already out the front door. Ashton and Calum could tell the exact moment it hit Michael, could almost physically see the blonde haired boy’s heart break in his chest. His head started to shake frantically as he moved towards the door. He screamed out Luke’s name, his voice breaking, and Calum grabbed him. Michael fought Calum hard, and for a moment Calum thought he would get away. But then Michael just dropped to his knees, giving Calum all his weight, and sobbed so loudly Calum feared his lungs would   
explode. Cal sank to the flood, Michael in his lap, and looked up at Ashton pleadingly.

Ashton sighed, face creased with worry. “I’ll go after Lukey, make sure he gets home okay. You stay with Michael.”

Ashton laid his hand on Calum’s shoulder as he passed, but neither of them said another word. Neither of them had to, their thoughts were the same. They would work this out. They had to, they were MikeyandLuke, LukeandMikey. And if they didn’t work it out, what would happen to the remnants of whatever this broken mess of a friendship was.

 

Liz was in the kitchen finishing up the dishes when Luke stormed into the house, still shaking and sobbing almost violently. Liz barely had time to wipe off her wet soapy hands before Luke was launching himself into her arms. Seeing her youngest son in this state almost sent Liz into a panic, but she forced herself to stay calm, determined to figure out who had hurt her son and then hunt them down.

Liz slowly led Luke over to the living room, sitting down on the couch and pulling him into her arms. Luke clutched at his mom and sobbed into her shoulder as she tried to calm him. It took almost an hour for the tears to subside, even then Luke’s body heaved silently, completely empty of tears to expel. His body felt tingly, his head fuzzy, and the room kept swaying around him. Liz passed him some tissues, helping him to clean the tears off his face and watching him carefully as he took a few deep breaths.

“Is it Michael?” Luke thought he had no more tears left, but Liz’s words had them gathering in his eyes yet again.

“How did you know?”

Liz smiled softly, reaching out to brush Luke’s hair out of his face. “My dear darling boy, it’s always only ever been Michael. It’s about time you realized it yourself. I’ve been waiting years for you to admit it to me. You were always a sensitive kid Lukey, but you were always able to brush it off when kids were mean to you at school. You would talk to me about it and that would be it. But I’ve never seen you so mad, so upset, as when that Clifford kid started giving you trouble. You just couldn’t let go of that one and I couldn’t figure out why. Then that first night you brought him home for dinner with Calum I took one look at your face and I knew. You had never smiled like that before, and you’ve only ever smiled like that for Michael. And the way Michael looks at you is like you hung every star in the sky by hand. The only people who can’t see it is you two idiots. Now tell me what’s going on so we can get this figured out and you two can finally kiss and stuff.”

Liz bit back a smile as Luke had the decency to blush at her comment. But then he started caving in on himself again and Liz had to pull him back into her arms.

“He doesn’t want me mom. I’m his soulmate and he doesn’t want me. How could he? I’m just stupid clumsy Luke and he is Michael fucking Clifford. Do you know how many people scream his name at every concert? How many people would fall at his feet if he only asked? I couldn’t tell him mom. I’ve known since the show at Annandale and I couldn’t tell him. It would have ruined everything, for Cal and Ash too. Their dreams were just starting to come true and I couldn’t take that away from them mom. But I can’t do this anymore. I love him and I can’t have him like I’m supposed to. And he tried to kiss me when he was drunk the other night! Like having a soulmate didn’t even matter! How many other people has he kissed while he was drunk mom?”

Liz shook her head at how stupid her son was being and set him with a stern look. “Now Luke, has Michael ever outright told you that he wouldn’t want you as a soulmate? No wait, I’m not finished yet. Of course he tried to kiss you Luke, he’s your soulmate. His body and soul are drawn to yours by forces that are out of his control. You can’t punish him for doing something he was designed to do, Luke, that’s not fair to him. You never even gave him a chance to want you Luke. I know your heart is breaking but so is his. Put yourself in his shoes, he probably feels like his soulmate doesn’t want him either. Michael copes differently than you, his anger is just his way of protecting himself. You have to tell him Luke.”

Luke sighed, defeated. He had hoped his mom would have all the answers, would save him from all this. But theses were not the answers he had wanted to hear. Just then a panting Ashton burst through the   
doors. He collapsed on the couch beside Luke and Liz excused herself to let the two boys talk.

When Ashton’s breathing had gone back to normal, he looked over at Luke. “Michael told me about your nose bleeds the other day. And the headaches, it’s from blocking isn’t it? Luke please, we just want to help, it’s killing us to see you hurt..”

“Michael is my soulmate.”

Luke blurted it out over Ashton’s words and Ashton went completely still. The room went silent for a few minutes and then Ashton collapsed further into the sofa, lowering his face into his hands. “Oh, Luke.”  
Luke just nodded, staring off into space and wishing over and over that he could go back before this mess he created got so big. Two hours later, when Ashton was leaving to go back to Calum’s, he pulled Luke   
into a tight embrace, burying his face in the taller boy’s shoulder.

“You have to tell him Luke.”

And Luke just nodded. “Tomorrow” he promised. Tomorrow.

 

Luke had planned to go to Calum’s house early the next morning, certain that Michael was still there. But Michael beat him to it, banging on Luke’s bedroom window some time around 3am, begging for Luke to let him in. Luke slipped from the bed and slid open the window, instantly getting an arm full of Michael who wrapped around him like a koala and refused to let go.

“Oh god Lukey I’m so sorry I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking I just snapped. It’s just you’re hurting so bad and you’re making yourself sick and I’m so god damn worried and mad at your soulmate for making you feel like you have to do this. I love you so fucking much Luke, you know that right? I didn’t mean it, I never really hated you. I could never hate you Luke you’re my best friend I need you to forgive me. Please forgive me Luke, I need you.”

By the time Michael was done, he was shaking. His breaths were shallow and rushed as he let go of Luke, looking everywhere but at Luke’s face. He sat down on Luke’s bed and dropped his head between his knees, trying to calm his breathing.

It was now or never, Luke thought, and opened his mouth to let the truth out. “I’m your soulmate.”

Michael was completely still for a moment, so still that Luke thought Michael hadn’t heard him. But then a soft ‘what?’ came from beneath Michael’s still bent over form.

Luke took a deep breath “I’m your soulmate. I couldn’t tell you Michael, you have to understand. I couldn’t bear facing the truth knowing I wouldn’t be your choice.”

When Michael looked up his face was void of all emotion, his eyes strangely empty, and Luke’s stomach clenched in fear.

“You wouldn’t be my choice? Luke you didn’t give me a choice! How could you hide this from me? Of all the important things to tell me this is the biggest damn one Luke. This isn’t some game, this is our lives!”

“I know that Michael! But I was terrified. You only ever wanted to mess around, and it would have ruined everything.”

“You didn’t even give me a shot Luke! And fucking with you was the only connection you allowed me to have. I was so fucking desperate that I took whatever I could get in whatever way I could get it. How could you be so selfish Luke? You chose to lie to me just to protect yourself from something that would have never even happened! I’m you’re best friend, you’re supposed to trust me with everything, especially this! How can I trust you now Luke? I don’t even know what to feel or think right now. I don’t know what I want.”

Both boys were shaking, tears streaking down both their faces as they stood in front of each other, all of the blocking dropped for the first time since Luke had found out they were soulmates in year 9. The intense emotion running through both of them left them both raw, sliced open and bleeding for each other to see.

“I couldn’t lose you” Luke, whispered out brokenly

Michael shook his head, moving back towards Luke’s window. “I think you just did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for ending it this way but i needed it to work out the progression of the series. Luke and Mikey will get their happy ending in Michael's story! Ashton is next!

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the first part to Luke's soulmate fic. Any guesses to who his soulmate is??? wink wink. There will only be three chapter in this one. Let me know what yall think!


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